http://www.thelandofunlikeness.com/2007/06/17/fathers-day/ Catholic Anglican Reflections on Theology and Culture Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:44:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 http://www.thelandofunlikeness.com/2007/06/17/fathers-day/#comment-159 D. W. McClain Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:16:00 +0000 http://www.thelandofunlikeness.com/2007/06/17/fathers-day/#comment-159 <p>Janet, thanks. I appreciate your assessment as this post was rather difficult to write. Re: pingback, blogger has a way of "sensing" when other people link up to us. But the concern is appreciated. In the future, if you click on the "links to this post" link, you'll get a unique link that you can use.. anyway, thanks again.</p> Janet, thanks. I appreciate your assessment as this post was rather difficult to write. Re: pingback, blogger has a way of “sensing” when other people link up to us. But the concern is appreciated. In the future, if you click on the “links to this post” link, you’ll get a unique link that you can use.. anyway, thanks again.

]]> http://www.thelandofunlikeness.com/2007/06/17/fathers-day/#comment-158 Janet leslie Blumberg Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:28:00 +0000 http://www.thelandofunlikeness.com/2007/06/17/fathers-day/#comment-158 <p>This is exceptionally moving. I recommended it on my blog but I see you don't have a pingback. Ah well...<br/> I can scarcely bear to think about the negative examples you gave, Dan, they hurt so much. The effects of a mother's depression on a child are utterly catastrophic.<br/> I remember a report on children from orphanages in the Balkans (horrendous conditions) adopted in Canada. Babies adopted before 4 months were able to thrive and grow up healthily but those adopted after 8-9 months of extreme neglect had serious difficulties recovering. The psychological developmental problems reflected the number of months of neglect with a close correspondence and got worse and worse. I think this was in Graham Greene's mind when he wrote Brighton Rock, a book that's remained with me. "The treasury of grace" I think he calls it, the Catholic idea that the love a child receives will protect and strengthen that child in later life. What of those who do not receive it? Child advocate Alice Miller wrote many books about this and believed that even a single "witness" during a child's early life can enable the grown child to reach out and respond to help. Along the lines of Dan approaching that little boy, it can just be a librarian or a aunt who says, "It must be hard for you when x and y happens" and confirms the child's inward sense of the situation, which is being denied by its parents. I gotta stop. This subject is too painful! But thanks.</p> This is exceptionally moving. I recommended it on my blog but I see you don’t have a pingback. Ah well…
I can scarcely bear to think about the negative examples you gave, Dan, they hurt so much. The effects of a mother’s depression on a child are utterly catastrophic.
I remember a report on children from orphanages in the Balkans (horrendous conditions) adopted in Canada. Babies adopted before 4 months were able to thrive and grow up healthily but those adopted after 8-9 months of extreme neglect had serious difficulties recovering. The psychological developmental problems reflected the number of months of neglect with a close correspondence and got worse and worse. I think this was in Graham Greene’s mind when he wrote Brighton Rock, a book that’s remained with me. “The treasury of grace” I think he calls it, the Catholic idea that the love a child receives will protect and strengthen that child in later life. What of those who do not receive it? Child advocate Alice Miller wrote many books about this and believed that even a single “witness” during a child’s early life can enable the grown child to reach out and respond to help. Along the lines of Dan approaching that little boy, it can just be a librarian or a aunt who says, “It must be hard for you when x and y happens” and confirms the child’s inward sense of the situation, which is being denied by its parents. I gotta stop. This subject is too painful! But thanks.

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